The Kings of Summer (2013) Director: Jordan Vogt-Roberts Starring: Nick Robinson, Gabriel Basso, Moises Arias, Nick Offerman, Several Other People You Probably Recognize Genres: Comedy, Drama, Coming-of-Age IMDb Synopsis: "Three teenage friends, in the ultimate act of independence, decide to spend their summer building a house in the woods and living off the land." |
“That’s not being gay, Biaggio, I’m pretty sure that’s cystic fibrosis.” - Joe Welcome back, everyone. After a hectic two weeks of midterm madness just before spring break, I, like many students in the U. S. of A., find myself sitting around inside with a helluva lot more free time and not much to do with it. That’s right, in case you’re the one person on the planet who wasn’t aware, the world is literally ending right now thanks to a lovely little disease known as COVID-19. The point of all of this is, what better way to waste away these quarantine days than with my mediocre movie reviews?
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Alright folks, we’re back with our first review of the decade. Let’s see what’s up today, and it’s…
Wow. Historically, January releases have proven to be, as generously as possible, a mixed bag. For whatever reason, the inaugural month of the year is viewed by studios as primo dumping ground for whatever shit they’ve left cooking on the back burner. Last year, the big release of January was “Midnight Shymalan’s” Glass. I really loved Glass. It was one of my favorites of 2019. Many people, however, didn’t particularly care for Glass. Like I said, “mixed bag.”
As far as genre mashups go, “horror-comedy” will always have a special place in my heart. Whether it’s Shaun of the Dead, Cabin in the Woods, or anything of the sort, something about mixing the ultra-macabre with a tinge of lighthearted fun just rubs me in all the right ways. So when I found myself with a free movie ticket and nothing to do on a Friday night, Ready or Not was the obvious choice.
This has got to be the most entertaining movie where nothing happens that I’ve ever seen.
“Once Upon a Time in Hollywood” is the latest film from auteur director Quarantine Tarantula, starring Leo “I’ll sleep in a bear for an Oscar” DiCaprio as aging star Rick Dalton, Brad Pitt as his suave, possibly sociopathic stuntman/friend Cliff Booth, and a smattering of other stars as… other stars.
“I don’t wanna be buried, in a Pet Sematary!”
The Ramones’ hit from the original Pet Sematary soundtrack is unfortunately, not featured in the 2019 remake. However, an excellent cover by the band Starcrawler is. I’m listening to it right now, as it happens. Shazam! Super movie-reviewer dude powers activated!
“Shazam!” is the latest DC superhero movie, starring Zachary Levi, Mark Strong, and… others. After young foster child Billy Batson (Asher Angel) is granted mythical Tom Hanks in “BIG” powers by an ancient wizard, he finds himself on a journey of self-discovery and superhero misadventures and hey, we’ve got another pretty solid entry into DC’s cinematic offering! "We are America." - Red "Yeah, and I'm Vin Diesel, mate." - Ricky Knight
Yeah, I’m sure this is the review you guys have been waiting for, right? Well, with "Captain Marvel" not out for another week, what else am I supposed to do? Actually go outside and socialize? Unthinkable! So today we’re talking “Fighting With My Family,” the Stephen Merchant directed comedy/biopic about WWE star Paige (Florence Pugh), her wacky wrestling family, and her rise to stardom.
Welcome back, everyone! Today we're trying out a new review format for EFR, "500 Words." The title's pretty self-explanatory: shorter, mostly spoiler-free reviews that are straight to the point, with less aimless meandering by yours truly. Hopefully, this will allow me to get reviews out for more of the movies I get a chance to see. And of course, full-length reviews will still be published for movies I have a lot to say about. So if you don't believe me, put this piece in a word counter and enjoy!
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Logan W.Amateur film reviewer & Marvel apologist. Hobbies include weight lifting, piano, and putting off writing reviews until they are no longer relevant. Archives
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